This dread of Mondays everyone has is somewhat baffling to me. It isn’t like people don’t know its coming. Every seven days (which in perspective is not that long of a time) a Monday comes around. It is a work day just like Tuesday or Thursday. Do we dislike Mondays for the simple reason that we had the previous day off? And what does that say about us?

At this point in my life I don’t mind Mondays. Maybe it’s because no matter what day of the week it is I still have to get up around the same time because my daughter wakes me up, so weekends do not hold any special “extra sleep” promise for me. But maybe it’s because I like my job and don’t mind going to work. Perhaps if more people had jobs they enjoy Mondays would be able to leave behind it’s gloomy connotation.

Do you hate Mondays? If so, how do you feel about your job? What do you think makes Mondays difficult? Help me understand…

Then I began thinking about a conversation I had earlier that day with my new boss. She and I had agreed that we liked to jump in and tackle an assignment and get it done sooner rather than later. I realized that I had not always been like that. I used to thrive under the pressure of a deadline (still do), but now I prefer to just get the work done and out of the way. What changed? I believe it was becoming a mother that changed me.

Now I realize the power of NOW. I must jump at opportunities when they present themselves. If my daughter wants to get dressed I had better go do it right that second because she may not want to in 5 or even 2 minutes and then I’d have a fight on my hands. And don’t even get me started on potty training and jumping up at a moment’s notice. I also no longer complain about tasks that are unappealing, but instead I realize they must be done and just do them, again, right away so as to get them out of the way.

I have developed a much greater sense of patience too. Putting my daughter to bed can take a very long time some nights. My will power and self restraint has improved greatly too. Watching my daughter feed herself and not take the spoon away because I could do it better and much faster takes Titan like will power and self control.

And without even knowing it, because they have become second nature, I am using these skills in all aspects of my life. Am I a better employee now than I was 3 or 4 years ago?

Assuredly, Yes.

Is it due to additional years of experience or because I am a mother now? I’m not completely sure. But I do know that even if it is due to work experience, motherhood has sped the learning curve.

Normally this would be a good thing. But since as previously mentioned I do like my job, I am inclined to stay at work longer. It goes like this, “5 o’clock already? Well, just one more thing and then I’ll go home.” And one more thing turns into 3 and then its 5:30, the time I’m supposed to be home.
It comes back to the whole work/home balance and where one’s priorities are.

For me, my priorities are whatever I happen to be doing at the moment. While I’m at work I want to be and stay at work, but when I go home, all I want to do is be with my daughter and be a good mom. Am I a bad parent for enjoying my work? I provide a great lifestyle for my family by working, but I’m positive my daughter wouldn’t know the difference if we lived in a smaller house or she wore second-hand clothes. I feel like a good mother by giving her these things. And if I get a sense of fulfillment from it too then it’s a double bonus.

So I have decided to eat lunch at 11:45 instead. This started because once I skimped on dinner the night before and only had carbs for breakfast so I was feeling the headache and lightheadedness that tell me it’s time to eat really early. I caved and ate lunch around 11:40. It made it seem like I had oodles of time in the afternoon and I was ready to go home right around 5. It’s all head games anyway right?

I am so excited about this job. So far every aspect seems perfectly suited to me. I truly believe that the self-discovery I did earlier in the year helped me in finding a job that is such a great fit.

If you have the time, even if you are employed, I highly recommend it.

And now that I am employed, will my blogging slow down? At this rate I don’t think I could possibly post less without  stopping altogether, and that is not going to happen.

But mostly I am focusing on remembering what I do have, not what I don’t.  I have an amazing daughter who grows smarter everyday, a beautiful home, a loving husband, parents close by, fuzzy cats, plenty of food to eat, and a soft bed to sleep in. And more and more I am thankful that I have had this time off to be with my daughter, play with her, and watch her grow. I am happy that I have learned more about myself and am better prepared to interview for my dream job.

In my opinion it is important to find the positive side of a situation if possible. It will cause less stress and make you happier. And enjoying life is a great goal, don’t you think? What makes you happy?

 After all, having a positive attitude goes a long way, right?

Things are beginning to look up. I’ve had several good “bites” and eventually one of them will have to turn into something. The key is to find something I’m good at, and I will enjoy. I’ve had jobs I enjoyed but they were not a good fit, and I’ve had jobs that were good fits but I did not enjoy. So how do I ensure I get both in my next job?

I believe the key is through self-discovery. I have been doing a series exercises to learn more about myself and what is important to me. I can’t say I’ve learned anything that I didn’t know before, but I was able to frame my self-knowledge in a new way, look at my traits and skills through a new window.

This entailed narrowing down what my top interest are, which, when forced to choose, came as a surprise. Plus, actually writing down my ideal working conditions and types of people I enjoy working with. I think the most challenging part was narrowing down my values to the top three. If you want to do these exercises pick up a copy of What Color is Your Parachute by Dick Bolles.  The 2010 edition is particularly useful.

And on a completely different front, I know that given an entire year, I’m pretty sure I can get my daughter potty trained. So those are my two goals, find a job and get my daughter out of pull ups.

Don’t get me wrong, I plan on sticking it out and seeing if I can work my way up. I learn fast and if I apply myself I am sure I can make it. But I plan on sticking it out at only one of the two. Coordinating work schedules for both and trying to fit in a job search and interviews has been less than ideal. How do I choose between the two retail jobs I’m trying on for size? Which fits better comes down to working environment, people, and benefits.

One of the jobs has a lot better employee resources, like a formal training process, direct deposit, and benefits for part-time associates. However, this job also has a much more stressful work environment. I know each job has certain requirements, but I feel much more pressure to meet each standard perfectly at this job. And the dress code is very strict. The store manager at this job is very dedicated, and I admire her work ethic, however she is a little over the top for me.

The other job is much more laid back with less pressure. They have a dress code, but it has a lot more options. The cash register is much easier to understand as well. While I didn’t get training that was as formal and in depth as the other job, I still feel well-equipped. I definitely feel more a part of the team at this job despite only working there a few weeks. I think what makes this job the one I want to keep is really the manager. She has high expectations just like the manager at the other job, but she doesn’t make you feel like you will be a failure if you don’t meet them right away.

I have learned that as the leader goes, so goes the team. I firmly believe it as I have seen it played out over and over again in my career. I worked for a small business that was barely scrapping by because the leadership from one of the owners was not up to par. I have seen entire teams turn around and become successful when a new manager was put into place, and unfortunately I have seen the opposite too. So I have come to the decision that I will be staying at The Children’s Place and that is in great part because of the management team there.

I applied to several stores. The ones which I thought would be most promising didn’t work out. Isn’t that the way with a lot of things! I really wanted an Assistant Manager job at one children’s clothing at which I shopped quite often. They didn’t ever call me back. I did get offered jobs at three different stores. I ended up taking two of them. Neither one was an assistant manager job though. I still have hopes that I will be able to learn enough to get promoted quickly.

Applying and being interviewed at these places has been a learning experience in itself. When I was hired for my one and only past retail job I was interviewed alone. This time, since I was applying during the holidays, I was interviewed with others in a group. It was very interesting to me to see the diverse group of candidates. Some of those in my group who I thought would not get hired did! And I discovered I was not as prepared as I thought I would be.

Will I be able to stick it out? Will I get promoted? Will this turn out to be a giant mistake? We shall see…

I’m not sure which irritates me more, the listings that are so completely off in left field, or the ones for entry level “no training needed” type jobs. I actually applied to one of those many years ago when I was first starting out. It turned out to be door-to-door sales on the B2B side. The company wanted you to go out to businesses and try to sell them a new phone system. I’m sure that is a wonderful job for some people, just not me. And I certainly don’t want to do that at this level in my career. Although in a couple months I may be singing another tune.

I just wish I could get better qualified job leads delivered to my email. No commission only sales jobs, no insurance “run your own business” jobs, no entry-level sales jobs disguised as marketing jobs. And I do realize that finding jobs via online job boards is reportedly not the best way to find a higher level job. But do you think that may be because the job boards are inundated with all these obtuse listings?

But what does it all come down to? In my mind it is about value. At the end of the day we are all sales people trying to sell a product, you, to a particular company. You want them to “buy” you, as in give you a job. Or in some cases you want them to not let you go. Either way your task is the same, show that you provide value, so much value that the company cannot afford to do without you. You need to know how to market you.

So how do you do that? In my opinion the first step is confidence. As Mary Kay Ash once said, “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.” It boils down to believing in the gifts and talents you have. Think of all the things you have accomplished. Make a list if you have to, and list everything. I graduated from grammar school, and high school, and college. I wrote a resume that landed me a job. I made a great birthday cake for my cousin and everyone raved. And so on. As human beings we tend to focus on all the things we did wrong. Flip that around and focus on all the many things you do right. Think of all the things you are good at and list those. These lists will help you see that you have talents, skills and value to add to any company.

Next, (and this one may seem obvious) Do Your Job. I have seen it more times than I’d like where someone is so concerned about losing their job, they spend work time updating their resume, or making networking calls, or even complaining to anyone who will listen. If you are doing any of the above, STOP! If you currently have a job, one of the best ways to make yourself indispensible is to put your shoulder to the wheel and work hard. If you are currently out of work your new job is to find a job. Don’t sleep until 10 and wander around in your PJ’s. Get up, get dressed (complete with hair and make-up done), and go to work. If you aren’t spending at least 30 hours per week on this, you are truly job hunting.

Last, with all the great material online today you have no excuse for not building your personal brand. Dan Schwabel has an entire blog dedicated to personal branding with really great content. Make sure your various online professional profiles are up to date, such as LinkedIn, for example. When you meet with friends, work associates, or networking contacts dress professionally and not in gym clothes or pseudo-pajamas. How you dress, act, and look is as important as your resume, your online profile AND what comes up in a Google search of your name. When someone does a Google search on you (and they will) what shows up? Anything? Be in control of that and determine what you want that content to say.

We are all in control of our own situations. You choose how you will react to any given situation. If you are out of work or worried about losing your job, choose to have a good attitude and it will get you further than you think. Choose to be proactive about your situation and you will be miles ahead of the competition.