Then I began thinking about a conversation I had earlier that day with my new boss. She and I had agreed that we liked to jump in and tackle an assignment and get it done sooner rather than later. I realized that I had not always been like that. I used to thrive under the pressure of a deadline (still do), but now I prefer to just get the work done and out of the way. What changed? I believe it was becoming a mother that changed me.

Now I realize the power of NOW. I must jump at opportunities when they present themselves. If my daughter wants to get dressed I had better go do it right that second because she may not want to in 5 or even 2 minutes and then I’d have a fight on my hands. And don’t even get me started on potty training and jumping up at a moment’s notice. I also no longer complain about tasks that are unappealing, but instead I realize they must be done and just do them, again, right away so as to get them out of the way.

I have developed a much greater sense of patience too. Putting my daughter to bed can take a very long time some nights. My will power and self restraint has improved greatly too. Watching my daughter feed herself and not take the spoon away because I could do it better and much faster takes Titan like will power and self control.

And without even knowing it, because they have become second nature, I am using these skills in all aspects of my life. Am I a better employee now than I was 3 or 4 years ago?

Assuredly, Yes.

Is it due to additional years of experience or because I am a mother now? I’m not completely sure. But I do know that even if it is due to work experience, motherhood has sped the learning curve.

Don’t we all feel just a little better when we realize we are not alone in thinking this or that, feeling something, or in our odd little habits we think no one else does? We are the same as many other people in many different ways. But when it comes to putting ourselves into groups why do we always insist we are unique from others? We aren’t. We are all alike in one way or another. It’s like we say, “Sure there are other working mothers (or insert your own group), but I’m different than ALL of them because…” and finish the sentence with some pitiful excuse as to why you are unique. But chances are there are at least a dozen (probably a couple hundred dozen) women who feel the exact same way you do and would finish the sentence the same exact way.

And that is exactly what allows marketers the ability to advertise to the general public. Because we are general, in one way or another. If we were as unique as we think we are, sometimes marketing wouldn’t work. Each message would have to be tailored to one person. But advertising and marketing do work because we are all motivated by very similar things, and react in very similar ways.

So the next time you think “No one could possibly know how I feel,” think again. Or “I’ll bet I’m the only person on the planet who washes my socks like this,” wrong! Chances are there are hundreds, if not thousands who are just like you. And thanks to the internet we can all find each other through odd little websites and forums.

Normally this would be a good thing. But since as previously mentioned I do like my job, I am inclined to stay at work longer. It goes like this, “5 o’clock already? Well, just one more thing and then I’ll go home.” And one more thing turns into 3 and then its 5:30, the time I’m supposed to be home.
It comes back to the whole work/home balance and where one’s priorities are.

For me, my priorities are whatever I happen to be doing at the moment. While I’m at work I want to be and stay at work, but when I go home, all I want to do is be with my daughter and be a good mom. Am I a bad parent for enjoying my work? I provide a great lifestyle for my family by working, but I’m positive my daughter wouldn’t know the difference if we lived in a smaller house or she wore second-hand clothes. I feel like a good mother by giving her these things. And if I get a sense of fulfillment from it too then it’s a double bonus.

So I have decided to eat lunch at 11:45 instead. This started because once I skimped on dinner the night before and only had carbs for breakfast so I was feeling the headache and lightheadedness that tell me it’s time to eat really early. I caved and ate lunch around 11:40. It made it seem like I had oodles of time in the afternoon and I was ready to go home right around 5. It’s all head games anyway right?

But mostly I am focusing on remembering what I do have, not what I don’t.  I have an amazing daughter who grows smarter everyday, a beautiful home, a loving husband, parents close by, fuzzy cats, plenty of food to eat, and a soft bed to sleep in. And more and more I am thankful that I have had this time off to be with my daughter, play with her, and watch her grow. I am happy that I have learned more about myself and am better prepared to interview for my dream job.

In my opinion it is important to find the positive side of a situation if possible. It will cause less stress and make you happier. And enjoying life is a great goal, don’t you think? What makes you happy?

 After all, having a positive attitude goes a long way, right?

Things are beginning to look up. I’ve had several good “bites” and eventually one of them will have to turn into something. The key is to find something I’m good at, and I will enjoy. I’ve had jobs I enjoyed but they were not a good fit, and I’ve had jobs that were good fits but I did not enjoy. So how do I ensure I get both in my next job?

I believe the key is through self-discovery. I have been doing a series exercises to learn more about myself and what is important to me. I can’t say I’ve learned anything that I didn’t know before, but I was able to frame my self-knowledge in a new way, look at my traits and skills through a new window.

This entailed narrowing down what my top interest are, which, when forced to choose, came as a surprise. Plus, actually writing down my ideal working conditions and types of people I enjoy working with. I think the most challenging part was narrowing down my values to the top three. If you want to do these exercises pick up a copy of What Color is Your Parachute by Dick Bolles.  The 2010 edition is particularly useful.

And on a completely different front, I know that given an entire year, I’m pretty sure I can get my daughter potty trained. So those are my two goals, find a job and get my daughter out of pull ups.